Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
