I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
