nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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