I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
