Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Randomize
