Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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