If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
