I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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