I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You've changed since you got that strap on
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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