WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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