things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
