I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
