this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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