Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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