I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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