Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
