? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize