throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
