i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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