Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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