? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize