i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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