The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
