you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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