Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
