I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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