So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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