i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
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