Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
