Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Randomize
