Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
