do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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