Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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