I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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