He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
