she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
