summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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