I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
