sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
you made out with another girl for some wings
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
