VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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