i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
