Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
