My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Text me some of your sweat
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
