I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
