People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
