it's like iHOP with fire
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
