I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
