The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
