It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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