My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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