All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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