Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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