Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
