from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
