no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
