i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
