his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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