So drunk, too bad you don't want this
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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